Shopping for a Role That Fits You

Whenever I attend an celebration for a close friend or family member - a bar mitzvah, a wedding, or an important birthday party - I try to mark the occasion with the "right" outfit.  I try to find something that reflects my relationship with that person, the people who will be invited, and the location and tone of the event. I want my outfit to show how excited I am for the event and often buy a new outfit so I can remember them whenever I wear the outfit. I don't think I could ever articulate what I was looking for before I arrive at the store but somehow I always "feel" that my selection is "just right" and arrive at the event excited to begin the celebration.

How does this process work? What makes the outfit “right” for you? Is today’s “right” outfit timeless - or will your interest in the style wane over time - or even find it unsuitable when you’re attending a similar event but with different people. This choice is totally subjective but somehow we are all able to make a choice that feels right to ourselves in the end.

I sometimes tell this story to students who are trying to sift through dozens of career options as they plan their first job search. The decision feels important and consequential and they want to make a start choice. I try to help them reflect on different experiences they’ve had as a student leader, in internships and from their own research to identify fields of work, functional roles, and modes of working that they feel they would enjoy and that are well suited to their skills and personality.

I also try to calm them by telling them my own story - four careers, all in very different fields - to help them feel less worried about making a decision. I also remind them that they’re likely to have 12 or more jobs in their career (Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2015) - in hopes they will understand that this is just a first step with many opportunities ahead to refine their path.  They definitely hear me - but the pressure is overwhelming and they continue to search for the “right” choice.

Knowing that the emotions are difficult to overcome, I offer an analytical approach to collect data about roles they've had in their life and develop filters to guide their decision based on their own perceptions about suitability and fit. 

I suggest they review as many former roles as they can remember including internships, class projects, and participation & leadership in student organizations - then list the factors that defined their enjoyment and performance in each role: 

• What did you love about this role?  Which parts of the role felt more like fun than work? Which aspects of the results made you feel most proud?
• Which parts of the role did you avoid or provoke procrastination? Where did you struggle - and have you ever had difficulty in similar circumstances?
• Describe the role with as many adjectives as possible: Vision & strategy; planning; operations & logistics; conceptual vs. detail oriented
• Do you love a role the first time then dread the idea of doing the same thing again?  Do you feel more satisfaction when you are able to build something over time?

Populate your database with as many different roles as you can. Go back to your childhood - these patterns are often connected to our personality - and you may find corroboration for your data from more recent experiences there.

With some ideas from your own experience, plan your "shopping trip" to "try on" different careers with informational interviews with people in your network. Ask your parents and their friends about their jobs. Reach out to alumni of your school and ask them if they’d be willing to share their experiences.

For advice on how to reach out to ask for this interview, read “The World Will Help You, If You Ask The Right Way”

Ask them to describe their path to their current job. Most stories will include a variety of stops that may seem disconnected - but ask them to connect the dots.  Why do they feel that this is the “right job” for them - perhaps, at least, at this point in time? Ask them how they spend their days - what types of roles are they playing? what skills are they using to complete their tasks? Which parts of their job do they enjoy the most? Which do they dislike?

To test the "fit" of different potential roles, imagine that you're trying on each one - much in the way you might when you're shopping for that "perfect" outfit. After the interview, imagine that you put it on like an outfit and stand in front of the full-length mirror at a store. Take your time and look at the outfit from the front.  Turn and look over your shoulder at the back. Do you like the way it feels? Does it match your image of what you were looking for? Go back to the dressing room and switch to another (role) and go back to the mirror and compare how it looks.  What's better?  What's worse?

Imagine that you were in the role of the person you just interviewed. Would you feel energized when you get up in the morning to spend a day doing what that person does?  What parts of their job excite you?  Which ones would you dread?

Sit with the idea that you’ve made that particular decision.  Look in the mirror at the store and ask yourself: How would I feel in a job like that?

I recommend that my students try to have 2-3 of these calls every month - and follow this exercise after each one.  At this rate, the student could have 50+ interviews in their database to help them feel more confident that they are embarking on a good path. Take notes - and add them to the database.  Look for patterns then use these to rule things out and to focus your search on the opportunities that feel most aligned with your emotional reactions.  

You will know the right outfit when you see it. If you feel uncertain, maybe more information will help you decide and maybe go shopping again with additional interviews. In the end, you should trust your instincts - if it feels right, especially when compared to other options, then it's probably the right choice and you should buy it (or pursue an opportunity with a similar set of characteristics.