New Lease on Life

Mom received the best possible report from her oncologist on Friday. She's been feeling great for the past couple weeks and we were optimistic that her new treatment was working. Her symptoms were nearly gone, she had most of her energy back, and she was beginning to feel optimistic about having a future. But we didn't know for sure that the medication was working until we received the report that her CAT scan showed less cancer in her body than a month ago.

While this was phenomenal news, the oncologist gently reminded us that the medication may stop working in the future. And we can't know whether it might stop working sooner i.e. weeks or months or longer i.e. (hopefully!) years. But it's likely that it will stop working at some point.

I wasn't sure how to react ... should I be worried that the medication might stop working soon? Or can I use the uncertainty about the end-point as a tool to keep me focused on feeling gratitude for each day with my Mom - however few or plentiful.

I have another - seemingly trivial - story to share that illustrates the same point.

My family has owned a summer house on Johnson's Pond in Coventry for more than 40 years (1971 to be exact). I grew up at that house - and have enjoyed many wonderful moments with Bari seeing our own children grow up there too. Three years ago, Bari & I bought a new waterfront home - and I knew that my personal connection to the house in Coventry might lessen over time with a competing solution to my appetite for water views.  My entire family - my brother, sister-in-law, his children, my children - were horrified when I announced my desire to sell the property. We all decided to hold the property - and decide later about selling after our children are more settled in their lives and can determine how the house might factor in their plans to raise their own children. But the house went mostly unused for the past two summers so we decided to rent it to cover the carrying costs until we were ready to raise the next generation on waterskiing, tubing, etc.

I'm not going to lie ... it was difficult packing up 40+ years of memories to make room in the house for the new tenants. I was much more emotional than I expected - but not surprising, I guess.

We went to the house this weekend to help the new tenants put the docks in the water. When I arrived, I saw the towels, bathing suits and life jackets drying on the fence.

I mentioned something about the stuff on the fence to the tenant and he worried that I was upset about the mess. Just the opposite, I explained ... I couldn't have been more delighted that he and his family would be using that fence - and our home - to develop their own family memories. Even if they didn't know for sure how long it would last.

Nothing lasts forever.  We don't know how long we'll be allowed by our landlord to lease the house - and we don't know how long the medicine will continue to fight our cancer. I hope that I can stay grounded in the transience of our leases to remain grateful for life's many gifts.