Our Values

When Bari left HBC in March 2020, in the opening days of the COVID pandemic, we decided we were ready (and able) to think about work in a different way.  Until that point, work was (at least in part) a responsibility that played a role in providing for our family and for our own financial future. Neither of us aspired then (or now) to retire in a conventional way but we were ready to accept the freedom to choose work that interested us and served whatever personal needs we might each and jointly define.

Around the same time, we took a course with our friends and mentors Lester Strong and Ev Mann called “Elder Odyssey”.  The course created a space to explore the choices we might make as we transitioned from lives & identities that were formed and measured by “what we do” to a new stage defined by “who we are”.  To put it more simply, to navigate a transition “from doing to being”.

From Doing to Being made intuitive sense to us as a placeholder to guide this shift.  During the forty years of our (traditional) working lives, we measured our activities and ourselves by where we worked, the role we played, the impact we had, and how we were paid.  Alongside these work-related factors were others that were associated with our family and community. When Alan reflected on the factors that guided his decision to leave Andersen Consulting, it came down to having clarity about what was important - and was eventually captured in the Pie of Life framework that helps guide priority setting at the highest level.

We've been navigating this transition to Being for four years but recently realized we hadn’t defined the goals or measures of success to help us know we were on the right track. Throughout our lives, we have felt a strong connection to our values but, in the end, the measures of success were attached to the activities of our personal and work lives.  As we shift to Being, we need to shift the primary measure to be the extent that we are able to live in accordance to our values.

This feels like the right answer, at least for now … but we plan to continue reflecting on the adequacy of this framework to assure that our lives feels authentic and a source of meaning to ourselves, our family and our community.

If values will be the primary measure, we decided (for the first time) to write about them to capture a starting point for this chapter as it unfolds.  Hopefully this will help us navigate the coming years with clarity and a sense of Purpose.

Love

The relationships in our lives have always been of primary importance and we hope this will always be true.  Next year will mark the 40th year of our marriage as partners in love and in our lives.  Our parents have been role models of the many forms this love may take at its best and we hope we are able to emulate these in our own love for each other - and in the love we bring to our relationships in family, friends and communities.

Gratitude

We have been privileged to have enough in our lives.  Being grateful for having enough supports our compassion and empathy for others who have less and our desire (need) to generously share our time, talents and treasures. It also reminds us of the privileges that have played a role in our achievements and (we hope) protect us from arrogance. And focusing on our half-full glass keeps us optimistic and hopeful.  Knowing that we have enough also centers us with an abundance mindset that frees us to creatively search for solutions.

Learning and Creativity

Alan’s Dad knew he was dying his whole life with him yet he was able to see his father live out his dreams and live life to his fullest extent. He always dreamed about building a house - so he did, fearlessly.  And without Youtube videos to teach him how.  He often shared that he felt he needed to be “repotted” every once in a while to experience the exhilarating growth that often follows the struggle of learning something entirely new.

Being a lifelong learner has cultivated our curiosity and creativity that empowers us to remain hopeful and optimistic when we work toward solutions to the perplexing problems of our time. Our curiosity shows up as appreciation for the value of diversity and in active listening and genuine interest in the perspectives and experience of other people.

Tikun Olam

From the earliest age, we have embraced this Jewish tradition that translates as “Repair the World”.  We aspire to bring this principle to all aspects of our lives including our work, philanthropy, community involvement and  connection with nature. We especially appreciate the awe and wonder in moments where we are able to immerse ourselves in nature.  These experiences reinforce “our being” in small places in the context of all things. 

Ubuntu is a philosophy that emphasizes the interconnectedness of all humanity. It is often translated as “I am because we are” that highlights the belief that our individual well-being  and identity are completely intertwined with the well-being of communities and nature. We see Ubuntu as the thread that connects my values for a common purpose - to love completely; to express gratitude through generosity; and to pursue learning in service of others.

Is this the right list?  We aren’t sure we will know until we encounter circumstances where knowing these values stops short of showing us the way forward.  As lifelong learners, we hope to revisit this framework and these definitions as a source of guidance and strength to assure we live meaningful lives.